THE THINGS I LEARNED WHEN I TURNED 21
Turning 21 is a huge milestone in a person's life. Not only can you legally drink and go out to clubs and bars for the first time, you're now another year into adulthood and one step closer to figuring out what you want to do the rest of your life in every aspect. This is the time where we get ready to graduate college, apply to graduate school, law school, internships, full time jobs, have your first bar and/or club experience, learn to drink responsibly and become aware of the consequences when we don't, and truly live our best lives possible before real adulthood sets in. 21 exposes you to a world you never knew existed. Whether you're a "partier" or not, everyone learns something the year they turn 21; I know I did.
A lot of true colors were revealed when I turned 21. Friends who I thought would be by my side the rest of my life I no longer speak to. True friends do not make you feel bad for going out and having fun simply because they are not old enough to experience these things for themselves yet. They don't make you feel bad for talking to or dating a guy who is not their cup of tea for no reason at all. It came to the point where I would feel bad for having fun and doing the things I want because I felt like I was upsetting others. I am thankful to have many reasonable, intelligent, caring and supportive other friends in my life who constantly reminded me that it wasn't me that it was the problem, it was the people giving me a hard time for living my life. No matter how many times I went out as a 21 year-old, I never once forgot about my friends who were not old enough to go out yet. If I value something, I don't just throw it away as if it means nothing. I'll never turn down dinner and lunch dates, girls nights, days at the beach and pool, shopping sprees, coffee outings, or just being in the company of a friend with every friend in my life, no matter what age. If you're my friend, you know it and wouldn't have to question anything. This is the type of toxicity I learned to cut out in my 21st year.
21 taught me that everything happens for a reason. Shortly after turning 21, I had the biggest epiphany that make no sense to me at the time. It wasn't until months later that these confusions became clear and continue to become more and more clear today. What I realized really hurt me as it came out of nowhere, but I realized that not having the same mindset as someone else is not the end of the world. It reminded me that I was meant to do things much greater and focus on myself and who I want to become. Always remember, "what's for you, will not pass you."
I learned exactly the type of environment and population that I want to work with once graduating with my Masters. After completing fieldwork hours at the end of my junior year of college in both pediatric and geriatric populations, I realized my love for working with children and how I can see myself working in a school and private practice one day.
21 taught me to recognize manipulation when I see it. You may think one's intentions are pure by their words and actions, but pay attention to what they're doing not in your presence. Actions speak louder than words.
I learned to surround myself with people who build me up instead of put me down. If people cannot be happy for you out of jealousy, they don't deserve to have a role in your life. Unfortunately, jealousy is an ugly disease that is not always controllable.
Warning signs are everything. Hearing the words "be careful" or "I'll support you no matter what but this is how I feel" usually are not good indicators. A good friend once told me "you can get 10 different opinions from 10 different people, but at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your own." This is very true and I do believe in this. When you hear the same thing from several people, that also speaks volume and is something that should be considered. I always listen to warning signs but most times chose to go against them and learned the hard way.
21 is an age no one can ever forget. We don't realize how young we are and that trivial things we stress about now we won't even remember years from now. Quarantine really made me realize not to take life for granted, every little aspect of life. As I am now 22, I look forward to another year of laughs, memories, new experiences, learning more from my mistakes, and more stories to tell.
Until next time, sippers xoxo
AML
A lot of true colors were revealed when I turned 21. Friends who I thought would be by my side the rest of my life I no longer speak to. True friends do not make you feel bad for going out and having fun simply because they are not old enough to experience these things for themselves yet. They don't make you feel bad for talking to or dating a guy who is not their cup of tea for no reason at all. It came to the point where I would feel bad for having fun and doing the things I want because I felt like I was upsetting others. I am thankful to have many reasonable, intelligent, caring and supportive other friends in my life who constantly reminded me that it wasn't me that it was the problem, it was the people giving me a hard time for living my life. No matter how many times I went out as a 21 year-old, I never once forgot about my friends who were not old enough to go out yet. If I value something, I don't just throw it away as if it means nothing. I'll never turn down dinner and lunch dates, girls nights, days at the beach and pool, shopping sprees, coffee outings, or just being in the company of a friend with every friend in my life, no matter what age. If you're my friend, you know it and wouldn't have to question anything. This is the type of toxicity I learned to cut out in my 21st year.
21 taught me that everything happens for a reason. Shortly after turning 21, I had the biggest epiphany that make no sense to me at the time. It wasn't until months later that these confusions became clear and continue to become more and more clear today. What I realized really hurt me as it came out of nowhere, but I realized that not having the same mindset as someone else is not the end of the world. It reminded me that I was meant to do things much greater and focus on myself and who I want to become. Always remember, "what's for you, will not pass you."
I learned exactly the type of environment and population that I want to work with once graduating with my Masters. After completing fieldwork hours at the end of my junior year of college in both pediatric and geriatric populations, I realized my love for working with children and how I can see myself working in a school and private practice one day.
21 taught me to recognize manipulation when I see it. You may think one's intentions are pure by their words and actions, but pay attention to what they're doing not in your presence. Actions speak louder than words.
I learned to surround myself with people who build me up instead of put me down. If people cannot be happy for you out of jealousy, they don't deserve to have a role in your life. Unfortunately, jealousy is an ugly disease that is not always controllable.
Warning signs are everything. Hearing the words "be careful" or "I'll support you no matter what but this is how I feel" usually are not good indicators. A good friend once told me "you can get 10 different opinions from 10 different people, but at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your own." This is very true and I do believe in this. When you hear the same thing from several people, that also speaks volume and is something that should be considered. I always listen to warning signs but most times chose to go against them and learned the hard way.
21 is an age no one can ever forget. We don't realize how young we are and that trivial things we stress about now we won't even remember years from now. Quarantine really made me realize not to take life for granted, every little aspect of life. As I am now 22, I look forward to another year of laughs, memories, new experiences, learning more from my mistakes, and more stories to tell.
Until next time, sippers xoxo
AML
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